Compromise

 

 

After an amazingly fabulous weekend away, last weekend, I have come back home with a spring in my step and the weight of the past year or more lifted off my ever stooping shoulders. So much has been on my mind over this past week. My blog has been one of those things.

From the humble beginnings  of this blog I have struggled with it’s purpose. Originally I began blogging, way back in 2006 {and not at this space} to record the unschooling life and times of my child. It was an impersonal sort of blog in many ways as I had no clue about blogging and audience and followers and readership and all of that. I just wanted a space to share Lew’s learning, an extension of my hand written journals and I loved to write, record.  As time went on and I got an inkling into how the world of blogging worked I got a little bit hooked! Line and sinker! The need to set up a second blog became obvious to me – that’s when Feather & Nest came about. I wanted a place where I could talk about other elements of my life as well as parenting and unschooling. The homey, nesty bits. I tried to keep two blogs going for a while but it became really, really tricky. One was totally neglected. So it made sense to  combine two blogs into one.

I wanted this one  blog, Feather & Nest, to reflect who I was. An unschooling mum who has a burning need to record the life of her child and his learning journey. An interior decorating, nesting and feathering obsessive trying to build a little consult business as well as needing a place to rant and rave about homey, nesty and gardeny things. A home maker. A writer of sorts who must vent via words on paper or screen.

But there’s another part of me too. The bit of me that means the absolute most to me in my life. The bit that I find really difficult to share with those who don’t have the same bits. The part of me that keeps fairly quiet here. The Christian bit.

 

 

I know from time to time I mention God here and the Bible there but on the whole I’ve compromised a lot by not writing much about those things. I know that most people reading this blog won’t be interested in the Christian stuff. I guess that’s been my main reason for not sharing all that much about that part of me here. But to me it feels like one gigantic compromise. I feel like Jekyll and Hide here a lot of the time. I whinge and whine about difficulties in my life without adding the hope that I have and the Grace that I know to be true.

 

 

Why have I compromised? Fear, I guess. Fear of not being read. Though I’m not really sure why I worry about that one as my blog is only so very teeny, tiny in the grand scheme of the big bloggy world out there. Fear that those people I know in my real life will turn away, perhaps sniggering. That I might lose friends in real life and here. Fear that I will misrepresent  the God I believe in and be linked with mainstream religious stuff that I am totally opposed to. Fear that I will be boxed as one of those squeaky clean religious law-mongers who I don’t want to be aligned with.

Fear, fear, fear.

So the question I’ve been asking myself, especially since last weekend, is: Should I start a new blog where I can share the Christian bit?

Can I manage two blogs? I’ve well and truly failed at that before. Or do I just share here and suck up the consequences?

What do you think? Have you ever felt that your blog is a compromise?

I’m really wanting your feedback on this one. Please.

 

Kim x