That little slump post I wrote on Thursday has been plaguing my mind. A huge part of me really, really, really wishes I hadn’t pressed the publish button. It was a whinge. A down in the dumps whinge. Nothing stuff in the grand old scheme of life. I’m fine now. Actually, by the end of that day I was feeling much better.
So I wrote that post while I was feeling in a slump but then my mood and attitude got better and I moved on. Should I have posted when I was feeling like that?
Most of me thinks no. I don’ t want to come across as a whinger and a hard done by kind of person. My life is so filled with wonderfulness and blessings and I regard the negatives to be blessings as well, things that teach me and show me and mould me. And then, when I think about all of those lovely, happy, positive blogs out there that only radiate rainbows and sunshine I shudder at my slump style posts.
But, there’s a tiny part of me that feels like I need to paint a real picture of who I am and what I’m feeling on this blog. My life and my thoughts aren’t always rainbows and sunshine. My life is not all pretty nesty images and decorators heaven. I am a whinger and a venter but then I get over it and realise on a deeper level the importance of going through everything I do and that my miseries are nothing compared to other people’s and that I am really and truly blessed.
Do I want rainbows and sunshine? Yes, but not at the cost of being seen as a fraud. Life isn’t rainbows and sunshine all of the time. Not for me, at least. I’m always left with a little “I’m crap” feeling after I’ve spent too much time reading rainbows and sunshine posts. I like to know people are real and more like me. Though too much misery and whinging is, of course, repulsive too. Balance – ugh, so hard to find.
And there are posts of mine, that when I look back on, I think about the stresses of that particular morning or the bad parenting I did out of the frustration of not being ready on time that didn’t even get a look in. Yet the images and the post come out looking all rainbows and sunshine and fraudy in some way.
So that’s that. Post unfinished, it seems. I’m not sure where I stand with the what to share and what not to share. I guess it’s all about balance, for me. I could do with a lot less whinging but then I wouldn’t be real. And my own rainbowy posts could do with a bit more realness. See, I’m still so unsure.
Over to you – what sort of posts do you enjoy reading the most? Are you a rainbows and sunshine kind of reader or are you more of a realist?