I've felt, for some time now, a real longing to be writing again, but an inability to actually sit down and do it. I felt my writing juices dry up and the longer I left it the harder it was to get them flowing once more. Even my 'paper and pen' day-to-day journaling was in a very poor state of affairs. I opened my journal to a fresh clean page (one of my favourite things to do in life - a clean, blank sheet to begin again on) and noticed that my last entry was Xmas Eve 2007. Considering I would normally journal on a daily basis, this was a noticable gap.
Throughout 2007 there were alot of these kinds of gaps and some even bigger ones. Normally I would journal on a daily basis. I think this says alot about my state of mind during 2007 - extremely busy and preoccupied with other things: some stressful things, many daily living things and other new plans that took up alot of my time. I also went through a fairly low time parenting wise around the middle of last year and it took me a little while to get out of a rut, dust myself off, learn from my mistakes and re-connect to a better level again.
While I was feeling abit low I found it extrememly difficult to write. The thought of writing about these times frightened me as the printed word is a validation to me of the realities I was going through - quite painful at the time. Although this year has begun with some of the stresses of last year still in place, I feel stronger and more able to vent my feelings - both positive and negative and I've made a pact not to stop writing. For Lewi, this is a record of his life (well, snippets of his life) that he can use in any way he chooses - to learn from, to remember, to laugh at, to cry, to feel embarressed about and to know a little more about me and my part in this unschooling journey that we're on together.
So, here's to turning a new leaf and the beginning of a fresh new year - one of sharing and experiencing our lives as an unschooling family in our little next of the woods (or, should I say, bush!).
